الأربعاء، 27 أكتوبر 2010

* First Draft *

* Women's Work *

             Nowadays women's getting out to work became a must. many reasons and factors lead to such phenomenon. people had various reactions toward the working women.  People were decided into two parts completely away from each other.

             Some people were refusing the fact that woman go out for work whatever was the reason. some of them that woman don't have to go to find ajob as she already has her original job .that is household. woman extreme happiness is to look after her houses affairs.In addition some people refused women working saying that the responsibility over her will be so heavy so she necissarily will not work well either at home or at work. What's more, her health will declare according to the great effort she makes. Also, a deviation in her kid's behavior will be noticable as she no longer looks after them.

             On the other hand so many people declared that they are with women's working.they had their reasons also.some of them said that getting a job will make a woman's life valuable . they may feel happy that they are playing a role in developing their country. what is really pleasant i that some of them looked to the case with a practical eye. They defended the working women saying that her job will bring money for her and her family . They dealt with the fact that none of us can give up money. Getting a job is very beneficial for the elder women and the unmarried. While they are working ,They feel that they are not alone in the life.

           To sum up, women's working became a phenomenon that no one can prevent . In my opinion, if a woman had to work she should organize her time very well . By doing so, she will never meet difficulties in either her personal or working life. she should admit that both her job and her family had some rights that she must be consious about.

          

هناك تعليق واحد:

  1. Your draft is good but you need to do the following:
    1.people had various reactions toward (towards) the working women
    2. Stick to the corerect tense, you sometimes use present and other times use past
    3. People were decided (divided) into two parts completely away from each other.
    4. Some people were refusing the fact that woman go out for work whatever was the reason. (wrong structure)
    5. heavy so she necissarily (wrong spelling) will not work well either at home or at
    6. What's more, her health will declare (wrong meaning)
    7.in her kid's behavior will be noticable (wrong spelling)

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